At Outerhope's gig and album launch yesterday:

K: Listening to their music makes me want to run through a field.

M: Or swing from a branch of a tree.

K: Or blow soap bubbles.

M: Pinwheels! Fly a kite, or lie on the grass looking at cloud form bunnies!

K: Yes! Then they hump, multiply and suffocate us all.

M: Yes, Armageddon.

Or something like that. Still, how did we get from a dream pop band to an end-of-the-world scenario?

Last Saturday, I did make it to those two album launches. Right after the Us-2 Evil-0 set finished at Mag:Net, I ran over to Saguijo in time to catch the last opening act pack up their gear, right before Musical O's set. A set which I didn't finish by the way. I was dead tired. Ended up in Hap Chan with bad dim sum but great milk tea and chilled taho.

I'm so happy for Us-2 Evil-0. Half of the band are my friends and I am proud. I don't know the Musical O kids, but they should be proud too.

By the way, look at these awesome album art. Both album art were photographed and designed by the brilliant couple at Everywhere We Shoot. You can say all you want about the Philppines. Yeah, the country is a madhouse ran by madpersons. But we make music and art that kicks serious ass. I don't plan on being any where else (except, maybe Hong Kong or New York, and just for short periods of time).

what we lost

RIP Alexis Tioseco. 1981-2009.

Just got back from Palawan. Puerto Princesa this time and just for a vacation. No work whatsoever involved. On this trip, I got to visit the Iwahig Prison and Penal Farm, which turned out to be slightly unnerving but very cool. I think it's the only place where the prisoners are in charge of the prison gates. I took a photo of the guy whose job it is to sound the bugle call for head count. I want to go back, and shoot a bit more in this interesting place.

I also got to go through an underground river which you enter via a cave on sea-level. That was really great too, but at some time during the 45-minute boat ride in the dark, I started wondering if animatronics and light and sound effects could enhance the experience a bit.

Just this morning, I went dolphin-watching. I saw the dolphins first and called everyone's attention to it. Until the boatman said I was pointing at a bobbing buoy. We then dropped anchor in this place called Turtle Cove. It was like a giant pool with fine sand at the bottom. Around noon, we got back on the boat and had a really good meal of grilled fresh fish, grilled eggplant, boiled shrimp, and adobo.

I almost skipped on today's itinerary. I was seriously considering staying at the hotel, watching cable TV and finishing my Civil War book.

If it weren't for work, or more adventurous friends, I'd never be able to see these places. And even when I'm already at these sort of places, there's still that natural inclination to just sit and do nothing. I can be boring that way, and I think I take after you, Pa.

I remember when Gino and I were kids, and you'ld take us to the beach during the summer or on weekends. We'd play war games with the BB guns, or play cards, and grill hotdogs (which you'ld forget to take out of it's vacuum wrap). But we never strayed far from our cottage, except for that time you got us bikes and wanted us to try them out.

I also remember you stories of whenever you'ld go on out-of-the-country trips. They'd always be for work, and you liked staying in your hotel. I remember the time you went to Tokyo and had the chance to explore the red light district. You almost skipped that part but you didn't want to embarrass your hosts. You ended up making small talk with the Filipino bar girls, which you enjoyed because you got to speak Tagalog.

I do a bit more of traveling-for-fun than you, and ironically, it's because you encouraged it. You liked sending us away and talked about not minding having to spend for your kids' travels. It was worth it you'ld say, and it is. A big part of who I am is because of the places I've been to, thanks to you. But there are times when I just want to revel in doing nothing. To have the luxury of free time, to just sit around and read, or talk with the people I have in my life. I really can be boring that way and I really take after you. I really don't mind at all.

Waking The Dead

I met Yvette during the fun days of hanging out on the set a TV series of which she was a writer. Except that Yvette reminded me that I met her more than 10 years ago because we had the same Math/Chinese tutor.

Yesterday, Yvette, one half of the literary powerhouse that is Luis and Yvette, launched her book, Waking The Dead. It's an anthology of weird, heartfelt and powerful stories. I went to Powerbooks to attend the launch, got in early, got a copy, and had her sign it. I sat down and was four paragraphs into the first story about Quiapo, elementals and the Black Nazarene before the program started. I was hooked. I wanted to stand up, get out, go home, find a nice spot to finish the book. I also wanted to write my own stories, be a conjurer of all the arcana my mind could muster.

In her acknowledgments, Yvette thanked Neil Gaiman for the inspiration. Yvette is my Gaiman.

Read Inquirer review here.

Lots of stuff happening but I seriously can't bring myself to write about anything. I will force random content upon this blog.


My brother and his best bud, Marco, where production designers for the Cinemalaya 2009 entry, "Ang Panggagahasa Kay Fe (The Rapture of Fe)." We attended the premiere last night and I found myself actually liking the movie. I usually feel that one has to go through a gamut of heavy-handed, irony and humor deficient films to find gems (like Maximo, Jay and Endo) in Cinemalaya. But Fe was good. More than trying to be socially relevant, political or, god forbid, art, Fe was just an story told well.

+++

Finally got my film back from my US trip. It gave me an attack of self-doubt. Seriously. I've been doing this for long and I should be better. I should be constantly good, scratch that, I should be great.

But I'm not and I'm working on it.

+++

I turned thirty some days ago. I was toying with the idea of writing a list of thirty things. Like things I want to do, or things I know, or things about myself. But, god, can you imagine what a pompous ass I'd be?

I do know that I want to do more things that mean a lot to me this year. I'm saying I'm committing time, the most precious thing I've got, to making things that mean a lot to me. Hopefully it will have value for others too.

Also, I'm the luckiest sonovabitch in the world. In the stare down between the abyss and me, I'm holding my own. And it's because I've managed, by some fucking miracle of life, by some mystery of the universe, to surround myself with the awesomest people on earth. Even my dad says so. After my dinner last Sunday, he texted saying that he had a good time, and that my friends were all good people (natch!). That he could imagine me growing old with them and that it all reflects on how I've lived my life.

I like how he didn't care if I made any money or not. In my dad's eyes, I'm big time because of my friendships. Gee, Pa, I am only my father's son.

Anyway, I spent three continuous days last weekend just enjoying my friends and family and it was the best three days in a very good year so far. A very good year in an incredible life. Thanks Universe.

to scale

I have friends who've gotten married and moved to the 'burbs. Which, in my personal opinion, means that they've moved to anywhere past Magallanes. In the map, where they live, it would say, Here there be tollgates. But it's a nice place, the one they've got. A late century bungalow with a huge empty lot adjacent to it that also belongs them. Before they planted... crops in that empty lot, it was the scene of a fictional body dumping that the wife told to the husband over SMS to freak him out. You know, for kicks. Fun couple, these two.

Anyway, they've been nesting, doing a bit of organizing, changing the layout of their living room. I want to be in that stage in my life too. Where I have my own largeish space that I can fix up or organize. Actually, better yet, I want to literally build my own house. Well, maybe not literally. I mean, how does one mix and pour cement. But I want to be very involved in building my house.

I was thinking about that while sitting in Starbucks, reading a book (Cryptonomicon, still), waiting for my lunch companion to make it. I was thinking if I could actually learn woodworking, build my own crossbeams and pillars out of good wood, to make a nice, high ceiling. And I said to myself that, yes, yes I can!

Only to realize quickly that patience and precision aren't my strong suits, and I'd probably go nuts trying to cut lumber into equal pieces, and sanding them all. I think my experience with building scale models as a kid should serve as a reminder. I didn't apply glue in the right amounts, and I didn't want to wait for the paint to dry to apply the second coat. From opening the box to holding a 1:24 Nissan NSX in my hands, I wanted to spend only an hour making it, tops.

It was only natural that I always ended up with motley painted cars with doors that wouldn't open, planes with wings that fell off, and WWII battleships already in post-Pearl Harbor state. So I'm really reconsidering literally building my own house, but I still want to be at that stage in my life.

Day 1

After traveling for about a day, I'm finally in New York. I arrived this morning, and as soon as I got off the plane, my stomach growling for something solid, I got myself my old breakfast habit of bagel and cream cheese. It felt good. It felt good seeing the skyline from the highway from JFK. It felt good coming down Williamsburgh and running straight into the Lower East Side.

We swung up over to the west, and I finally got dropped off at Lia's place. I looked out her window, and I saw the park and the buildings over on the east side. I took a shower, put on some new clothes, and headed to the comic convention with Ramon and Neva. It wasn't my scene but it was great seeing the art work appreciated by solid fans.

Still, I left them there, and not wanting to crash, I got a Redbull and headed over to Union Square. I dropped by the huge Barnes and Noble just to see if it was still the same. It is. I dropped by the big Virgin store on the other end of Union Square, the one with the huge digital clock. They're going out of business and everything is on sale. Even the store fixtures are being sold.

Strand, over at 12th and Broadway, provided a sharp contrast to the sadness that was the Virgin store. The aisles were full and the lines were long. I love Strand, with it's musty smell of old books. I just went to see how the place looked but ended up spending over a hundred bucks on two books. I've been looking for these two because they were books I've always wanted to own. They had fifteen bucks slashed off their list prices, and these were new condition, hard-to-finds. I swear. Anyway, I now own Todd Hido's House Hunting, and Alec Soth's NIAGARA. And that's the last of my purchases. In New York at least.

Right now, I'm back at Lia's place. Ramon and Neva are probably still at MoCCA, and Lia and Ling are at the park for Frisbee. I have the place to myself, and I'm trying hard not to zonk out. I like that in a city like New York, you can still find lots of places for some solitude and quiet. That's how great this city is. I'm glad I still know it, and it knows me. It's been five years, but it's like I never left.

eating frozen yogurt at the steps

I always like talking to my friend, P. Conversations with her usually cover stuff that I don't usually get to talk to others about. Like tonight, at the back steps of of some Makati building, after getting some frozen yogurt, we talked about how, coming from our particular generation, we tend to think that we can do anything. But now that we're a bit older, we shed our dreams one by one, and stick to one that we hopefully can be good at. We're still undecided if that's a tragedy or natural function of being excellent (at one thing).

Anyway, we decided that Things We Can Never Do would make good material for, say, a specialized blog. It's just a list of things we wanted to do but can't now. With reasons and qualifications, of course.

The first thing that came to mind was that I could never be an astronaut. The reason being that I'm not a Russian billionaire who can afford to be a space tourist, and I don't have the educational background to make it to being a crew member. (What is a payload specialist?) However, this should be qualified by saying that, in a couple of decades, space tourism might be possible, and I can find myself among the stars.

But there are many things that I still hope to do. I still want to make a film, show more photography, write fiction, and build well-designed houses. I'm not trying to be a dilettante or a dabbler. Don't you need to be well-off to be one? But these things aren't outside the realm of possibility. I just need to start on something and, as P would say, enjoy the process.

PS. K suggested a blog on irrational fears. That's kind of fun too.

monopoly

A month ago, like everybody else who was on some sort of Internet social networking site, I was making up a list of 25 Random Things About Me.

I had fun making that list, tagging friends, having friends comment on it, and commenting on theirs. Except that a few days after making it, I realized that I had forgotten one thing about me that should've made the list. Not that it was any more important that what I had written down, it was just less embarrassing than my #19 (Rick Price's Heaven Knows being my first CD ever.).

It should have been this: I love playing Monopoly, and I take the game very seriously. I try to think up strategies and theories on to how to win the game. I try to apply risk assessment principles, basic cash flow management ideas, and even chaos theory (i.e. my thought bubble: "If I offer to trade Flat Iron for his Reading Railroad, I wonder if that will jolt Battleship into selling Top Hat his Illinois Avenue, so that Top Hat and Race Car can take each other out, and I can have monopoly of the orange properties....Hmm.")

My all-time low, though, came at a game with Gino and two of his buddies. We ordered in for KFC, and before the food arrived, I wanted to make a three-way deal. I don't quite remember how it all went down, but I think that I got Pot to agree to sell Chin a property at a discounted price, in exchange for what I was going to trade for with Chin, and to make everyone happy, I was paying for their share of KFC. Something like that, they agreed, I got what I needed. And that was the trade that shifted the momentum of the game to my favor. Except that I realized that I paid real money to win in a game about keeping it.

I just remembered that this should have made my list of 25 random stuff about me because I've been playing it on my computer for the past days, and I still get pissed when the computer out-monopolies me.

friday

Well, there was traffic to begin with.

And then we found out that there wasn't a single ping pong table in the Rizal Memorial Sports Complex. Which, by the way, also houses the Philippine Sports Commission.

Then we got pulled over by a cop on a bogus traffic violation.

But we got to bowl at MCS, and in between games, we had an awesome Japanese meal (my second for the day) at Little Tokyo. And I found out, after my meal and after feeling a bit warm, that my Japanese grapefruit soda was actually a beer with high-calorie content. It was on the packaging, I just couldn't read it. It might also be considered a girl's drink in Japan.

photo from this guy's drink review

Then we couldn't get enough players for a poker game.

But I got home early, found time to read, and got enough sleep. All in all, a good day.

Chapel on the Hill

Two of my favorite people married at sunset yesterday.

I remember when I flew to Singapore to catch a band in ’06, Kara got left behind because of some passport issue, and Pia and I flew ahead. We were staying with their friends, people I hardly knew then. I knew I’d be all right because Pia and I talked during the whole flight, much to the annoyance of the old man seated in front of us. We talked about the need for personal projects, the benefits of living a part of your young life abroad, and the coolness of kids growing up in another culture. It was easy.

Dino was just, "this guy," in that conversation. Then when she and Dino finally got together, I was really happy that I could talk to someone about the Star Wars Expanded Universe and displaced 80’s music.

It was a really nice wedding, complete with a photographer running into the wind chimes in an untimely moment, and the priest getting lost in his script. I think it was cool compared to a lot of these staged, ultra-managed wedding events.

Also, after the wedding and after dinner, it was like were all just hanging out, making silly jokes. Just like the times before they were married, and we'd go to the movies, get quiet dinners, or talk in the Salcedo parking lot after patintero.

credits

I began this blog over a year ago because I had a then untitled short film I wanted to make. Well, I got it done: I wrote it, directed it, and screened it for friends and family, and somewhere in that time line, I figured out a title.

TRAINING, along with some trips and a certain reunion concert, was a highlight of 2008. I'm so thankful I got it done. I loved the experience of making it and the people I made it with are a big part of my life. Thanks, all of you.

The transition from 2008 to 2009 wasn't as smooth as I wanted. I've come to have mixed feelings about some of my relationships. In the garish lights of the holidays, the inadequacies are ever more glaring. Maybe it's just the holiday blues, but things are always a changing and in some things, I better be changing myself. I'll work it out, no worries.

More seriously, in the past couple of days, I've learned that bad things happened or are happening to people I love. I don't really know what to say about these things. This too, I'm still working out. But I want to say that I love you all, and I just want you to be all right. Somehow I don't say that enough, and I'm changing that.

I'm here now. New obsessions or not, throughout all the adventure and the uncertainty, in the euphoria of pleasure or in the depths of sorrow, I want to keep going. I owned you, 2008. 2009, you're next.

lists

I think this is one of my few breaks in this hectic week. And it's actually just downtime between editing sessions. So here I am, checking out bands on Myspace, chatting people up... blogging.

I like that this is the season for making lists. And I'm not even talking about Christmas wishlists. Yet. 'Tis the season for Top 10 lists. Websites, bloggers are coming out with their own take on the top movies and music of the year. And it's season where I mooch off the opinions of others. Sure I make an effort. I list down songs from TV shows that I watch (haha), I watch trailers, read the reviews, interviews. But sometimes time is short so you trust the taste of selected buddies and the criteria of people who might know a thing or two more.

So in this little break I have, I'm writing this down, listening and liking Bon Iver a lot, and downloading Parts and Labor. Will source The Fall and Let The Right One In later.

Saka na yung Christmas wish list ko.

looks

A good friend of mine finally launched her chocolate business, Risa Chocolates. They’re so good, I said that, next time, she should get me to shoot her products because I’d be happy to be work for food. It wouldn't be the first time.

So many of my friends are striking out on their own this year. They’re leaving their office jobs to set up their own businesses and work for themselves. Bad economy or not, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do and I’m all for that.

+++

Tomorrow, I’m leaving for what I think is the last working trip of the year. I was given the choice between shooting Iloilo and Bohol, and I picked Iloilo because I haven’t been. Only to realize that I have been, for an overnight quickie shoot. So now I get to stay a bit longer.

I was looking at the itinerary this afternoon, and it looks like a relatively easy trip. And I thought to myself, great, I can catch up with my reading.

That scared me. I’m turning into an old man who thinks trips are for catching up on reading and not for, well, travelling. So, while I still am bringing my copy of The Three Musketeers, I’m saving it for the downtime.

+++

There’s a reason why I’m re-reading one of my favorite Dumas novels (after Monte Cristo and Georges). It’s because I’ve read Musketeers and Man In The Iron Mask without realizing that they are the ends of a trilogy. I completely missed out on the middle book, Twenty Years After. Not only that, apparently Iron Mask is only a volume in a traditionally three-volume piece of work. So, damnit, I’ve got ground to cover.

PS William Eggleston is color blind. Crazy man.

going, going, gone

I am brain dead. But before I got to being that way, I had a great, if not busy, last week.

Last week, I screened my short for friends and family and the turnout was really good. Also, I think they liked it. No one walked out or was particularly obnoxious. People were interested, commenting, asking questions on the technicals, plot points and the ending. I suppose the worse thing for any work is to be ignored so thanks from the bottom of my heart. I’ve also been asked about a sequel. Not that I’ve ever heard of a sequel for a short film. But you know, with the way it ended, it’s not such an out-of-this-world idea… Still I don’t know. There’s a part of me that wants to move on to other stories and there’s another part that’s just easy to tempt.

Anyway, after the midweek screening, there was this legendary, ”industry” party hosted by one of the top post-prod houses last Friday. That was crazy. It was like 1999 all over again. And the thing with this industry where it’s okay to come to work in a t-shirt and a pair of sneakers is that nobody really gets violent. Sure there’s backstabbing, pirating and lowballing, but hey, we still like to party and go home in one piece. No nightclub shootings or parking lot scuffles for the creative types.

Also, a high school buddy got hitched last night. They had a Chinese Lauriat at the reception. Scallops, steamed fish, prawn salad, peking duck ang mango sago! High fives! But the MSG got to me, and I was knocked out pretty quick.

I woke up to today, where I had a postponed pre-prod meeting, a short, relatively easy shoot, and where I’ll have the rescheduled pre-prod meeting after dinner. I’m in a coffee shop right now, drinking just water, because the house is an Internet-less black hole. And the madness that is the rush hour, Yultide season, low-priced gas traffic just makes it plain nuts to go back and forth.

I’m sitting here, my day not quite done, and I’m taking stock of my week ahead.

There’s my full day video shoot tomorrow, which will be capped by a possibly late night, long-haul shoot for an advertising buddy. I’m actually going to try to get that late night shoot moved. Only because, Wednesday, I have to be in the airport by 7AM for a three-day Iloilo travel feature. That’s actually something I’ve been looking forward to (and I still do) but the thought that I’ll be flying in on a Friday night, get through Friday-night traffic during the Christmas season, to get to either a rehearsal for this concert I’m producing videos for, a high school reunion, or that late-night shoot I want to cancel is just killing me in already. Who said foresight was going to save you?

So there, just sitting here, sipping water, thinking how sad it is to start liking the microwaved, hot food of a coffee chain, trying not to remember the comfort of my bed, or the joy of re-reading The Three Musketeers, while waiting for a pre-prod meeting to get going two hours from now, I am brain dead.

shout out!

That was really cool of all of you to come. A big thanks to everyone!